It only seems fitting that this blog be read with a soundtrack in the background…

So before you begin, please click play:

Now that we have some tunes, I’ll begin with, HELLO.

It’s been so long, truly. First off, sorry that Kelly O’Byrne hasn’t delivered her bunion account yet…she needs more time, apparently. While we’re waiting, I thought it was only fitting for me to write a quick blog since it has BEEN SO LONG. And also, it’s been so long since I’ve actually written a blog that discusses something so weird that everyone does.

I have good news, people. WE HAVE A TOPIC. And it’s a good one if I do say so myself.

It all started a few months ago in the publications room, behind the partition (where else do these things happen?) when Mr. Thomas was about to give us a mini-lesson on InDesign. He told us to put our computers to sleep and look up at the projector on the wall. As I pushed the button and my screen went black, I immediately saw my reflection on the large, black monitor.

First instinct:  look at myself.

Second instinct:  laugh at myself. What the heck am I doing? I was literally checking myself out on the surface of a computer monitor. Cool.

Then, third instinct:  look around the room. What do I see? Everyone else doing the same thing as I am doing. Betsy Tampke is touching her face and Laura Neenan is fixing her hair.

HA. Who knew that everyone on this planet is as vain as I am? I mean, I thought it was just Emily Strickland, but that day in the publications room, I realized it was everyone else too.

So that got me thinking…

We all find any reflective object possible to look at ourselves through. Seriously, it’s true. Laugh/cry/whine/deny it all you want, but it would be most beneficial for you to just accept it and move on (my motto for this whole school year–it seems to have been working for me over the past few months). Whatever. Anyway, if you’re still in denial, think about it like this. What did you do the last time you…

1. Walked past a dark, shiny car?

That’s right. Whether you stopped dead in your tracks, turned around, and gave yourself a once over; or you slyly glanced at yourself as you walked by to make sure you looked okay, you totally checked yourself out. There is no way you can deny ignoring your reflection, especially if the car has recently been waxed.

For those of you who are comfortable with your vanity, congratulations. Keep mastering the art of staring at your reflection. However, BEWARE. Many cars can seriously distort your reflection. You may indeed look fatter than usual when using the side of a car as a full length mirror. Also, owners of Oldsmobile Aleros (Megan Wilkerson): you are not a pudgy little person. Your car will make you look very short and stubby, so please invest in a real mirror of your own and don’t take destructive turns for the worse.

2. Turned off your phone or ipod?

3. talked to your friend wearing her new, shiny sunglasses at the pool?

Sorry, that was kind of creepy. But some of you will hopefully understand (Cele Fryer). Anyway, if you found yourself relating to the answers to any of those questions, you’re vain. Sorry. But get over yourself, because all of us are. We’re human; and we’re all obsessed with ourselves and the way we look. Just deal. That’s really all I can say to you.

And if you thought that you didn’t relate to any of the questions above, just stop. Stop lying. Because you are. You are vain. (Mr. Fast). And you do look at yourself in reflective objects. So get over yourself too.

That’s all for now. I have to put my computer to sleep and check myself out before Spanish class LOL.

Peace,

wEiRdo