by Anna Kropf

I walked off the airplane, tears in my eyes, right into my mother’s arms. “I do not want to go to Duke.”

Two years earlier… It was May. Sophomore year. I was living like a queen. Colleges were falling at my feet, my dream schools were in sight, and within the year I would choose a university. Then came the doomed and hated day: the day I made Duke my soon-to-be alma mater.

Ask any senior but I doubt she, no matter how sympathetic her nature, would deny an opportunity to skip the horrid season of college applications and watch everyone else suffer through it. As arrogant as it sounds, that has been my life for the last three months. However, there was a twist; I did not want to go to Duke. I wished and wished I could apply like everyone else. I wished I could choose from a long and continually-edited list of my favorite colleges. I wished I could make a choice for myself without other schools threatening to kill me if I made the wrong decision. I did not want to go to Duke.

There is reason the college application process and decision occur during senior year. A sophomore doesn’t understand what “life-changing” means. Life-changing is the essence of college.

A senior does not grasp the concept either. Seniors look forward to the fun and freedom. They have spring break planned for the next four years. They know how long they will sleep in every day and how late they will stay up every night. They believe they will blow of academics slightly, eat whatever they want, and watch Netflix on their MacBook to waste free time.

I thought it was cool at the time to be way ahead of my classmates and sometimes my thoughts were already at Duke, but to give a sophomore, or even a senior, that mindset is deceiving. When you hit milestone ages, such as driving a car at 16, watching R movies at 17, and the all-encompassing 18, a high schooler is deceived by an overwhelming granting of freedoms. “Life-changing,” however, does not mean freedom; rather it refers to the unrelenting, ultimate bondage one enters due to adulthood.

The reality is college is a bridge to adult life. That was the reality I was so traumatized to receive when I had originally thought college was just an extension of high school freedoms, an unlimited supply of guys, and an opportunity to live on my own. Sorry to crush your dreams, but you can’t be a college student forever. You can enjoy it all you want, for college might just be the best four years of a human beings’ life, but it will end. I know you are probably shocked to the core when I say I don’t really want the responsibilities of paying bills, maintaining a job or even raising kids.

I don’t want to go to Duke because it means I am that much closer to being a true adult: an adult in practice rather than an adult simply in age. When I was on the Duke campus for four days this summer, I realized I did not hate Duke; instead, I hated what “Duke” and what “college” truly mean: growing up. I realized the words, “I want to go to Duke,” meant I would eventually have to submit to adulthood. Do not be fooled by this huge life moment. Realize that college is a big step, and do not be overly willing to take it, or life as you know it might just slip away.