by Kate Rohr

So it was Halloween night, and since (my mom says) I’m too old for trick or treating, I made a horrible, horrible mistake. I watched “The Blair Witch Project.” My thought process was basically this: It’s Halloween, so I need to do something festive. And maybe I’ll like it better than “Paranormal Activity 3.” And maybe I’m being a baby, and maybe I’ll end up loving horror films!

I was very, very, VERY wrong.

“The Blair Witch Project” is a horrendous movie that inflicts more mental pain than any film ever. I hated it.

“The Blair Witch” is told through the perspective of a woman making a documentary about the legendary Blair Witch, so the whole film is seen in home video style. So when they’re running through the woods (which happens a lot), you have the privilege of watching the ground spin and feeling nauseatingly dizzy. You also get to hear her scream right into the camera, which was particularly painful. I’m practically deaf and her voice is still ringing in my ears. A good half of “Blair Witch” is made up of three obnoxious people arguing over and over again. They scream and yell and use no common sense whatsoever.

As far as the fear factor goes, “The Blair Witch” is terrifying. But I still think it should have been a lot scarier, and keep in mind that I’m a total pansy. Most of the fear stems from the fact that they’re lost in the woods, which is scary, but not nearly enough. There is, of course, the Blair witch that’s haunting them, but there are very few moments where she actually does something to them. When she does, it’s not something you can see, just noise – indistinct, distant noise. Or sometimes she leaves a pile of rocks. These moments were creepy, but really? That’s it? Can’t we get some flashes of ghosts, or maybe someone getting possessed? That’s not so much to ask for, is it? I just kept waiting and waiting and waiting for something scary to happen, but the moments were so few and far between that it got boring.

So after watching “The Blair Witch Project,” I can definitely say that horror films are not my thing. When they’re really scary, I hate them, and when they’re not very scary, I hate them. I just hate them. So I give “The Blair Witch Project” a 4, for the 4 times in the whole movie that something actually happened.